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617 | Ответить: 3 Views .: 617 | Reply: 3
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[Fludilka] interview without complexes

Svetlana
posts
796
City
Krasnodar

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1 #
по убыванию Published 19.7.2014 22:41:18 | descending
1. Why did you choose this company?
You're stupid? I sent a resume to a dozen places. Where to get settled faster and cheaper - it's good.

2. What do you think, why should we choose you?
You workers do we need? Well, here I am. Employee. That I should choose at least because I obviously smarter than all those who have flooded these questions the standard stuff. And smarter than you, by the way, because I have never such stupid questions would not be asked.

3. What salary would you like to receive?
2.5 mln. $ In the year, as the US President. What a question? Naturally, I want to get such a high salary, how much you can pay me. Just because you still do not pay. Then there is nothing to show off. Anyway, the choice for me: you say the price, I say - I agree or not.

4. Why did you leave the previous place of employment?
Suppose, I will answer honestly: a small salary or lack of career advancement, or hopelessness, or not made friends with the staff, did not like the dog or the chief. So what? You do not know if I'll go to your boss, team and their dog. And you do not know until you try.

5. Where do you see yourself in 5 years in our company?
Here is another question: what are the company's plans for the next 5 years? There are no such? So if you do not know what you will be in 20 years, whether the company and what niche it intends to take, to me, would not know it?

6. What were your achievements in a previous job?
A resume is not enough, then. Oh well. I have worked perfectly and beautifully cope with their responsibilities. That is - an achievement! I have to disappoint you: with the right leadership and good work no achievements should not be! We have to work and not suffer nonsense and achievements reach!

7. How would you like to see your boss?
I would like it not to be. Seriously, there is no difference to me what he looks like. The main thing that he was the head: those who can articulate and normal tasks. As for the rest, let it be in red on white Capybara truselyah travels around the office.

8. What are your merits?
On the harp I can play and spit 15 meters in length. If you need my expertise, it is listed in the summary. If you need something else - something about it and ask. And if you do not know what you want and what you need here, sorry, I can not help. Formulate hidden and vague desire - it will need a psychiatrist.

9. What are your weaknesses?
Good tenor singing, the neighbors complain, and was told at the conservatory - talent. Here's another: when I eat soup with a spoon scoop for itself, and not from ourselves!


PS: steal with Facebook
ZYY: she did not so long ago on a similar questionnaire responses composing We do not even call back (Maybe it's for the best ) Where was this note before! Wow, I would have told them then
Tata
posts
1758

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Posted on 07/20/2014 9:06:03

Re: Interview without complexes

But be honest and to the point
Reply Thank you!

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Vilia
posts
652

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Posted 07/20/2014 10:56:27

Re: Interview without complexes

I would claim 7 under subscribed.
Reply Thank you!

A complaint

Stellavise
posts
170
City
Treviso
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4 #
Posted 20/07/2014 20:07:57

Re: Interview without complexes

Class!!! I was very amused article !!! Absolutely sympathize with the author!
Reply Thank you!

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